乔治·华盛顿
今天，和大家分享对美国小孩来说几乎“家喻户晓”的一份“礼貌清单”。这份规则挺能反映“西方礼仪、待人处事规则”之精髓的。我自己读下来，觉得也有不少实用价值，所以今天推荐给感兴趣的朋友看看。大人、小孩，其实都能有所参考 ...
整理出这份规则清单的人，不是别人，就是美国第一任总统乔治·华盛顿。
在美国，乔治·华盛顿是一个“神”一般的存在。大家知道，美国是没有君主的，但华盛顿在美国获得的尊崇，真的“不是君主，胜过君主”。
在纽约，有著名的华盛顿广场（Washington Square） ...
在费城，这么多美国开国国父中，就他的雕像矗立于自由厅之前 ...
当然，美国首都华盛顿是以他的名字命名的。就这样还不够，还矗立着高高的华盛顿纪念碑（Washington Monument）...
他在弗吉尼亚的老家庄园，也被完美无缺的保留着（靠开放旅游收入，不靠政府拨款） ...
屋子里的摆设，跟他在的时候没啥两样；据说这屋子的装潢设计，都是他亲自“折腾”的 ...
华盛顿14岁时，抄录了110条在相处和谈话中遵守的礼貌和体面行为规则，它们是以源自16世纪法国耶稣会的一套规则为基础的。后来，这110条规则，就被称为 George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior. 美国孩子称其为“小红书”！
我读下来，觉得这些规则，口吻是比较有“年代感”的。但流传至今，而且知名度极高，一定有它的“经典性”。仔细读来，会发现这些规则的共同点是尊重、关注他人。有人总结的非常好：
不管你是否挑剔，他们代表的不仅仅是礼貌。这些都是我们都应该愿意为了所有人的利益和共同生活而作出的小牺牲。
写这本书的耶稣会士们，以及抄写这些书的年轻人，正在勾勒和吸收一套适合于平等和接近平等的礼貌制度。
每个人都尊敬那些尊敬每一个人的人。
整套规则有110条，点击本文末尾的“阅读原文”，大家可以直接下载PDF版（英文的）。在网上找到了一份中文翻译版（感谢译者），今天选了其中和我们生活有多一些交集的55条（中英文对照），和大家分享。
乔治·华盛顿礼貌规则（节选）
#1 与人相处时，言谈举止须体现对他人的尊重；手不可乱放，不可指手画脚。
Every action done in company, ought to be with some sign of respect, to those that are present. Put not your hands to any part of the body, not usually discovered.
#2 有他人在场，不可独自哼唱，不可用手或脚打拍子。
In the presence of others sing not to yourself with a humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.
#3 咳嗽、打喷嚏、叹气或打哈欠不可大声，需悄悄进行；打哈欠时不可说话，需用手绢捂嘴并把头扭到一边。
If you cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately; and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.
#4 他人说话时不要打瞌睡；他人站立时不要坐下；应沉默时不要开口；走路他人停步时不要自己继续前行。
Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop.
#5 坐相须端庄，双脚保持平放，不可交叉或跷二郎腿。
When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.
#6 在他人面前身子不可乱晃，亦不可啃咬指甲。
Shift not yourself in the sight of others nor gnaw your nails.
#7 不可摇头晃脑，不可摆腿抖脚，不可乱翻白眼，一边眉毛不可高于另一边眉毛，不可歪斜嘴巴；说话时如离他人很近，当心唾沫会溅到他人脸上。
Shake not the head, feet, or legs roll not the eyes lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your spittle, by approaching too near him when you speak.
#8 说话时不可背对他人；他人读书写字时不可肆意碰撞桌子，也不可倚靠在他人身上。
Turn not your back to others especially in speaking, jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.
#9 保持指甲短而清洁，保持手齿清洁，但关注程度适可而止。
Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean yet without showing any great concern for them.
#10 不可鼓脸颊，不可伸舌舔手、胡子，不可撅嘴咬唇，嘴不可张太大或太小。
Do not puff up the cheeks, loll not out the tongue rub the hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the lips too open or too close.
#11 不可当众读信、读书或读文章，必要时须告退；除非受人所求提供个人意见，否则不可偷窥他人的书籍或书稿；除非应人所求，否则他人在写信时不可偷看一字。
Read no letters, books, or papers in company but when there is a necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the books or writings of another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unasked also look not nigh when another is writing a letter.
#12 表情和悦，但在严肃场合要神情肃穆。
Let your countenance be pleasant but in serious matters somewhat grave.
#13 在社交礼仪中，要避免虚情假意和过度恭维，但在有必要的场合，也不能对此完全忽略。
Superfluous complements and all affectation of ceremony are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be neglected.
#14 就坐时，若有人前来搭讪，即使对方是下级也要站起来；安排座位时，须符合各人身份。
If any one come to speak to you while you are are sitting stand up though he be your inferior, and when you present seats let it be to every one according to his degree.
#15 迎面碰到上级，尤其是在门口或是笔直的通道，要停足. 后退，主让对方先过。
When you meet with one of greater quality than yourself, stop, and retire especially if it be at a door or any straight place to give way for him to pass.
#16 在大多数国家，并排走路时，以右为尊，如表示尊敬，请走左边；三人行，尊者行于中间；若两从沿墙而行，让尊者靠墙而行。
In walking the highest place in most countries seems to be on the right hand therefore place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to honor: but if three walk together the middest place is the most honorable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.
#17 在住所，让主位给地位相等或相仿之人，而对方应先婉拒，再请之后，可先表示歉意，然后接受。
To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the chief place in your lodging and he to who 'is offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.
#18 与人谈话时，应先让他人开口，尤其是地位高于自已者说话时，绝不可先开口。
It is good manners to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no sort we ought to begin.
#19 劳动者及地位低下之人不必对上流社会人物有过多的繁文缛节，给予深深的敬意即可。相反，居高位之人应对他们亲切有礼，不可傲慢无礼。Artificers & persons of low degree ought not to use many ceremonies to lords, or others of high degree but respect and highly honor them, and those of high degree ought to treat them with affability & courtesy, without arrogance.
#20 探望病人，如果自已不是医生切忌越俎代疱。
In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.
#21 在病人或痛苦之人面前不可面露喜悦，因为情感之反差会加重的人之痛苦。
Do not express joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary passion will aggravate his misery.
#22 无论何时何地，对于他人的责备表示感谢；若无过错，寻适当的时间和地点让对方知晓。Take all admonitions thankfully in what time or place soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a time & place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.
#23 对大事要事，不可嘲笑或讥讽；不可开尖刻的玩笑；如要说幽默或诙谐的话，首要要控制自已不笑。Mock not nor jest at any thing of importance break no jest that are sharp biting and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant abstain from laughing thereat yourself.
#24 不要穿有异味，有破洞或有灰尘的衣服，至少每天要检查衣服是否清洗干净，注意不要接触脏物。
Wear not your cloths, foul, ripped or dusty but see they be brushed once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any uncleaness.
#25 穿着朴素，追求自然而非为他人所艳羡。遵循地位相仿者的时尚，看时间与场合表现礼貌和整洁。
In your apparel be modest and endeavor to accommodate nature, rather than to procure admiration. Keep to the fashion of your equals such as are civil and orderly with respect to times and places.
#26 不可在街上奔跑，步行不可太慢；走路时不可张嘴、甩胳膊，不可用脚踢土或用脚尖走路，亦不可手舞足蹈。
Run not in the streets, neither go too slowly nor with mouth open, go not shaking your arms kick not the earth with feet, go not upon the toes, nor in a dancing fashion.
#27 不可学孔雀过于炫耀。环顾四周，注意自已衣着是否得体，鞋袜是否整洁，衣服是否漂亮。Play not the peacock, looking every where about you, to see if you be well decked, if your shoes fit well, if your stockings sit neatly, and cloths handsomely.
#28 与地位高于自已之人同时上楼或下楼，应让出右位，他不停步，不可停步；不可先于他转身，若要转身，应面朝对方。与高位之人同行，不可肩并肩，而是稍后一点儿，保持距离以便于他与你交谈为宜。
In walking up and down in a house, only with one in company if he be greater than yourself, at the first give him the right hand and stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a man of great quality, walk not with him cheek by joul but somewhat behind him; but yet in such a manner that he may easily speak to you.
#29 不可在严肃者或有学问者面前谈论低级或肤浅之事；不可在无知者面前提及难理解的深奥话题或故弄玄虚，也不要在你的上级或同级面前自我吹嘘。
Utter not base and frivolous things amongst grave and learned men nor very difficult questions or subjects, among the ignorant or things hard to be believed, stuff not your discourse with sentences amongst your betters nor equals.
#30 欢娱或用餐时不可提及哀伤之事，不可谈及死亡、受伤等悲伤之事；如别人提及，则当尽力岔开话题。只对自已的密友谈论自已的梦想。
Speak not of doleful things in a time of mirth or at the table; speak not of melancholy things as death and wounds, and if others mention them change if you can the discourse tell not your dreams, but to your intimate friend.
#31 不可评述自已的成就，或以智者自居，更不可说自已家财万贯或与富人为亲。
A man ought not to value himself of his achievements, or rare qualities of wit; much less of his riches virtue or kindred.
#32 待人切忌鲁莽，应友好、礼貌；主动问候，主动回礼，应说话时，不要沉思不语。
Be not froward but friendly and courteous; the first to salute hear and answer & be not pensive when it's a time to converse.
#33 两人争论，不可随意表明立场。在无关紧要的问题上要随大流，不必坚持已见。
If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own opinion, in things indifferent be of the major side.
#34 与他人相处时要讲母语，忌用对方不知道的外语；在这一点上要向高雅之士看齐，勿向粗俗者学习，认真对待庄重之事。
Speak not in an unknown tongue in company but in your own language and that as those of quality do and not as the vulgar; sublime matters treat seriously.
#35 讲话要三思，发音要准确，不可急于开口，言辞要有序，思路要清晰。
Think before you speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.
#36 认真倾听他人之言，不可干扰其他听众。若说话者言词犹豫，不必帮助他亦不必催促他，除非他希望如此；待讲话结束后方才提问。
When another speaks be attentive your self and disturb not the audience if any hesitate in his words help him not nor prompt him without desired, interrupt him not, nor answer him till his speech be ended.
#37 他人谈话时不可插嘴问在谈什么。如你知道因你出现而使谈话中断，应礼貌地恳请对方继续。若你在谈话时，恰逢高位者出现，则应重复所谈之事，此为有礼。In the midst of discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you perceive any stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to proceed: if a person of quality comes in while your conversing it's handsome to repeat what was said before.
#38 与他人交谈，不可手指对方，尤其不要过于贴近对方的脸。While you are talking, point not with your finger at him of whom you discourse nor approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.
#39 有事商谈应选好时机，不可在他人面前交头接耳。
Treat with men at fit times about business & whisper not in the company of others.
#40 发生争论时，不要急于战胜对方，也不要让所有人随意发表见解。要听取主流意见的评判，尤其当这些人有判决权时。
In disputes, be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion and submit to the judgment of the major part especially if they are judges of the dispute.
#41 就餐时不可撕咬肉块，不可吐痰、咳嗽，不可擤鼻子，除非迫不得已。
Being set at meat scratch not neither spit cough or blow your nose except there's a necessity for it.
#42 不可对所吃食物表现出过分的兴趣，亦不可食相贪婪；切面包要用刀，不要将身体倚在桌上，不要挑食。
Make no show of taking great delight in your victuals, feed not with greediness; cut your bread with a knife, lean not on the table neither find fault with what you eat.
#43 用面包蘸果酱时，面包大小以一次进嘴为宜。不可在餐桌上用嘴吹冷热汤，待汤变凉后再喝。
If you soak bread in the sauce let it be no more than what you put in your mouth at a time and blow not your broth at table but stay till cools of it self.
#44 吃东西时，一口一口地吃，不可狼呑虎咽。
Put not another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.
#45 嘴里有食物时不可喝东西或交谈；喝东西时不可东张西望。
Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking.
#46 喝东西速度适宜，不可过慢或过快。喝的前后都要擦嘴；喝东西时大声呼吸或声音太大都有失礼节。
Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking, wipe your lips; breath not then or ever with too great a noise, for its uncivil.
#47 不可用桌布、餐巾、刀或叉清理牙齿，如果他人需要，可让其使用牙签。
Cleanse not your teeth with the table cloth napkin, fork, or knife; but if others do it, let it be done without a peep to them.
#48 他人在场时不可漱口。
Rinse not your mouth in the presence of others.
#49 用餐时，不要频频邀他人用食，也不需要每次喝酒时都敬他人酒。
It is out of use to call upon the company often to eat; nor need you drink to others every time you drink.
#50 与长辈一起用餐，时间不超过对方。只可把手放于桌上，不可将手臂也放于桌上。
In the company of your betters, be not longer in eating than they are; lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table.
#51 多人同时用餐，地位最高者先打开餐巾，先开始吃主菜，但他要把握节奏，以便最慢的人也可尽情享用。
It belongs to the chiefest in company to unfold his napkin and fall to meat first, but he ought then to begin in time & to dispatch with dexterity that the slowest may have time allowed him.
#52 吃饭时无论发生什么，不可生气。若情之有理，也需以愉快的表情来表达，尤其有陌生人在场。
Be not angry at the table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, show it not; put on a cheerful countenance especially if there be strangers, for good humor makes one dish of meat a feast.
#53 不可在餐桌上居于上座，除非实至名归或应主人之请；此时不可过于谦让，以免给在场之人带来不快。
Set not yourself at the upper of the table; but if it be your due or that the master of the house will have it so, contend not, least you should trouble the company.
#54 用餐时他人谈话需注意听，嘴里有食品不可说话。
If others talk at the table, be attentive but talk not with meat in your mouth.
#55 努力让你胸中那称为良知的小小圣火长明不熄。
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
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发表于 2019-10-20 16:01:56
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